First of all, yes, girls do camp. Not all females are innately afraid of nature and believe that a Marriott in the woods is camping. Some of us actually enjoy sleeping in tents, even for a week or more at a time.
However, before you embark on a camping trip with a girl there are a few things you should know:
- Like you, she will not be showering, wearing makeup, or even washing her face. Do not expect her to look as clean on day five as when you left. You will look dirtier too.
- She is not trying to look cute or outdoorsy by wearing a bandana. It’s there to hide her greasy roots and keep her tangled hair out of her face. If it’s cold, the same principal applies for her favorite hat.
- Her feet will smell. After several days of wearing sweaty hiking boots, running sneakers, and, worst of all, climbing shoes, her feet will smell just as bad as yours, maybe even worse.
- Her ponytail will turn into a single, large dreadlock.
- She will not be wearing a clean base layer every day. She will probably not be wearing a new one every other day either. It will get sweaty and stop smelling like Tide after the first approach.
- Her eyes will likely be puffy when she wakes up in the morning.
- She will fart at least once on the trip. She will also have to poop.
But don’t be scared away just because she will become just as smelly and dirty as you. She will also:
- Help you set up the tent.
- Be just as psyched as you for hiking and climbing.
- Carry an equally heavy pack.
- Bring more than just Pop-Tarts and beef jerky for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- Be down to swim at the end of a long day.
- Not care that both of you are gross and sweaty.
- Help you swat the crafty mosquitoes that find their way into your tent.
- Enjoy just being outside.
Originally published March 2, 2015, on coffeetapeibuprofenclimb.blogspot.com.