10 Things I’ve Said About “Your Mother”

1. I’m working Your Mother. 2. If you climb her right, she’s 5.8 slab jugs. 3. I got a new high point on Your Mother. 4. I can make all the moves on Your Mother. 5. Gotta love taking whips on Your Mother. 6. One cannot simply follow Your Mother. 7. Want to do a quick morning…

True Facts About the Second Flatiron

More selfies are taken on the Second Flatiron every year than in the entirety of Yosemite National Park. There are 378 distinct routes up the Second not including linkups. The first ascent of the Second did not include the diving board. The average Boulderite climbs the Second 297 times in their lifespan. Alex Honnold soled…

A Brief List of My Worst Climbing Snacks Ever

There are a billion “10 Best Sending Foods” articles out there. Here’s what not to do: Eat free expired bagels with Nutella. Nutella is rarely a mistake, but free expired bagels are free for multiple reasons, most notably their intense dryness. Nutella did not make them less dry. Wet cheese sandwiches will not make you sick,…

12 Reasons Why Gym Bouldering is Awesome

The landings are amazing. You never have to carry a crash pad to your project. Strolling across the parking lot is the ideal approach. There’s no snow on any top outs. There’s also no wind that can’t be turned off by a power button. No razor-blade crimps or sharp pockets to wreck your skin in…

Classic (Climbing) New Year’s Resolutions & What They Really Mean

It’s 2018, which means two things: 1. I can’t date anything correctly, and 2. Tis the season for New Year’s Resolutions.   Classic Resolution 1: “I’m going on a diet.”* *Also known as: “I’m cutting out sugar/bread/carbs/sweets/chocolate” and/or “I’m trying to lose 5+ pounds to send my spring projects.” TRANSLATION: I’m going to begin the…

27 Things I’d Rather Do Than Run

I look like I run. I ran competitively for 5 years before I started climbing and “for fun” for another two years after that. Then something happened: I stopped running. And now I understand why people say they hate running. It’s sweaty, time-consuming, boring, too slow and too fast at the same time, and nowhere near as…

Climbing Classes Coming Soon to a Gym Near You

Climbing gyms have exploded across the country, as have their class offerings. Enjoy these brand new classes, coming soon to a gym near you: How to not look like a gumby 101: Avoid looking like a clueless new climber with helpful climbing gym etiquette tips such as when to wear your climbing shoes (when actively climbing)…

Seven Ways to Lose Weight for Climbing

1. Pee. Never start up a climb having to pee. Depending on how much coffee you’ve consumed, this could rid you of over a pound of extra weight, and you don’t need the unnecessary distraction of “holding it” while you’re cruxing out. 2. Poop. The same “don’t try to hold your poo through the crux” idea as above…

Fall: The Season of Sending Psych

Fall is my absolute favorite season for several reasons: The mornings and evenings are refreshingly cool and crisp, but there’s no snow, and it’s not cold enough for me to start numbing out on routes or lose feeling in my feet while belaying. Headbands. Dad sweaters. Flannels. The thick socks I wear year round no…

Don’t Do It In The Gym

This is not a complete gym etiquette article. I won’t tell you how many laps you can acceptably hog the auto belay for or how to tell that V1 crusher that they’re going to blow up every tendon in their arms if they keep doing weighted hangs. Instead, this a mini “Don’t Do It In The…