12 Reasons Why Gym Bouldering is Awesome

  1. The landings are amazing.
  2. You never have to carry a crash pad to your project.
  3. Strolling across the parking lot is the ideal approach.
  4. There’s no snow on any top outs. There’s also no wind that can’t be turned off by a power button.
  5. No razor-blade crimps or sharp pockets to wreck your skin in four burns.
  6. It’s usually within 10 degrees of the ideal temperature.
  7. I never have to boulder inside with hand warmers in my chalk bag.
  8. It tends to not precipitate indoors.
  9. No hidden or broken holds. (Note: Missing the pink jug around the arete does not count as finding a hidden hold.)
  10. You never question which holds are on or which ones you’re “supposed to” start on.
  11. Even if you manage to out-climb the gym, it only lasts for a few days before they reset the cave.
  12. The terrible pink V3 you can’t manage to send – don’t worry, it’ll be gone in two months max.

What about climbing outside, you ask? Well that involves hiking and/or nature and/or weather and/or scenic views and/or fresh air.


One Comment Add yours

  1. #9 – hilarious. And WHO NEEDS NATURE.

    Liked by 1 person

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