Lives Matter: A Venn Diagram

All lives will matter when all black lives matter, and all black lives will matter when all black trans lives matter. So if WE ALL VOTE for those who will enact and uphold laws to protect Black Trans Lives, there’s a pretty darn good chance EVERYONE will be protected. Have you voted? My ballot is…

Super Helpful Beta That Applies Every Climb

“It’s good.” “All the holds are there.” “I onsighted that one 3 years ago.” “Everyone does it a little bit differently.” “All I remember is that I flashed it.” “It’s harder for tall/short/weak/inflexible/average people.” “The crux is cruxy.” “With the right beta it’s easy.” “Have you tried using your feet?” “Don’t mess with the feet,…

11 Reasons Biking is > Running

You’re sitting down 95% of the time. More distance for less effort = more better. Ask me to bike 5 miles: no problem. Ask me to run 5 miles: I’ll have several problems. Cruising. It takes significantly more effort to run down hill than it does to stop peddling and let gravity and your bike do…

The Official Rules of COVID-19

Airport rules = COVID-19 rules. You can drink a beer for breakfast, ignore all other humans that may be in your general vicinity, and play on your phone as much as you’d like. You can be naked in your house 23/7. Unless you don’t have to turn on your camera for work Zoom meetings, then…

A Short List of Things You Should Never Top with Peanut Butter

‘I love peanut butter on everything.’ And what I really mean by that is ‘I love peanut butter on everything except’: Tuna Fish — no PB and T sandwiches for this kid pleez Green bean casserole Green beans in general Lasagna Ravioli Chicken Parm Really anything involving marinara sauce Broccoli Creamed Corn Fried eggs Scrambled…

11 Reasons Crop Tops are the Shiznaz

Supreme breathability. You know when you’re hiking with your crash pad stuffed full of gear and your back immediately becomes sweaty? Not fully covering your midriff with a crop top keeps your core from overheating, while also showing off your 4-star abs. They’re a whole 0.3 ounces lighter than the average full-length shirt, so you’ll…

Year-long Birthday Challenge: 25 Things To Do During Year 25

I might be having that new-age quarter-life crisis thing other millennials have told me about. Last Saturday was my 25th birthday. No, I didn’t do 25 pitches or boulders or V-points or any other sort of birthday challenge to celebrate. Instead, I mostly forgot it was my birthday. It felt like any other climbing day…

10 Things I’ve Said About “Your Mother”

1. I’m working Your Mother. 2. If you climb her right, she’s 5.8 slab jugs. 3. I got a new high point on Your Mother. 4. I can make all the moves on Your Mother. 5. Gotta love taking whips on Your Mother. 6. One cannot simply follow Your Mother. 7. Want to do a quick morning…

True Facts About the Second Flatiron

More selfies are taken on the Second Flatiron every year than in the entirety of Yosemite National Park. There are 378 distinct routes up the Second not including linkups. The first ascent of the Second did not include the diving board. The average Boulderite climbs the Second 297 times in their lifespan. Alex Honnold soled…

A Brief List of My Worst Climbing Snacks Ever

There are a billion “10 Best Sending Foods” articles out there. Here’s what not to do: Eat free expired bagels with Nutella. Nutella is rarely a mistake, but free expired bagels are free for multiple reasons, most notably their intense dryness. Nutella did not make them less dry. Wet cheese sandwiches will not make you sick,…