Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and I hope you’re giving chocolate, and/or flowers, and/or cams, and/or hand salve to a special someone. If you’re single, no worries; I highly recommend you buy yourself and your mom some chocolate. I also recommend that you choose your next date wisely:
Here are ten reasons why, as a climber, you should highly consider dating another lover of rocks.
- You’d never see a non-climbing significant other. For most climbers, scaling rocks quickly takes priority over all other free-time activities. Thus, if you’re spending three nights a week training for outdoor climbing every weekend, the only way you’ll see your significant other is if they too enjoy Saturday cragging and hitting the gym for Tuesday limit bouldering sessions.
- Climbers are attractive. Lean, strong, and toned from training and cross training and tanned from climbing outside, we’re a good looking bunch with even better looking abs.
- Do you like holding hands? No non-climber will put up with you talking about the condition of your skin, and they certainly will never hold your sweaty, calloused, peeling, split, flapper-plagued mitts.
- You’ll have a(nother) go-to belayer and spotter for everything from last-minute weekend adventures to two-week vacations in the Red.
- Climbing is sexy. There’s something incredibly attractive about a strong female gliding perfectly over the rock with dancer-like form. A shirtless male’s flexing back muscles as he pulls a roof are also quite attractive.
- Living with one of your favorite training buds will help keep you motivated and accountable for abs day and post-work hangboard sessions. And think about all the gas you’ll save carpooling to the gym/crag.
- It’s always nice to have a Portaledge buddy you’re romantically interested in. Wedging yourself into a bivy sack alongside your significant other instead of that smelly dude you met at the gym is also preferable.
- Climbers have good taste in beer. You don’t celebrate a send or enjoy an end-of-the-day cliff-top sunset with anything but the finest craft beer (or PBR), and having a romantic partner who you can trust to make good gas station beer choices before a weekend of camping is crucial.
- You want a life partner who will jump out of bed at 5 a.m. on a Saturday, psyched to throw crash pads in the car and drive 3 hours to the Buttermilks. There is a 0.001% chance of finding that quality in a non-climber.
- Can you really imagine dating someone who didn’t understand the frustration of failing to deadpoint to a sloping rail or the fear of blowing a clip? I didn’t think so.
Happy Valentine’s Day!