Eleven Facts About Raincoats

  1. Raincoats are rarely 100% effective during precipitation events. Somehow water defies gravity and drips upward into the sleeves.
  2. Raincoats are more effective windbreakers than they are water repellers.
  3. In the event of a rainstorm, raincoats are most effective when worn underneath an umbrella to prevent them, and you, from getting wet. In this case, they’re simply an extra non-breathable layer for warmth.
  4. Alex Honnold wears raincoats. Tommy Caldwell also wears raincoats.
  5. Alex and Tommy get their raincoats for free.
  6. Raincoats smell terribly after 5 minutes of any sort of activity.
  7. Approximately 0.03% of raincoats look sexy when worn. Roughly 0.01% of raincoats look sexy when not being worn.
  8. Raincoats look best when paired with rubber ducky rain boots.
  9. Raincoats could be toxic if swallowed.
  10. Warning: Some raincoats could be flammable even in torrential downpours.
  11. Humans are not the only animals who wear raincoats.

Bonus Fact: If you wear a harness over your rain pants and fart, the farts will be held in until you take the rain pants off. Plan accordingly.

 

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