Climbing gyms have exploded across the country, as have their class offerings. Enjoy these brand new classes, coming soon to a gym near you:
How to not look like a gumby 101:
Avoid looking like a clueless new climber with helpful climbing gym etiquette tips such as when to wear your climbing shoes (when actively climbing) and when to take them off (when chatting, belaying, running on the elliptical, snacking, doing core exercises, before walking out to your car). You’ll also learn what the hell phrases like “I’m projecting this bouldery 12c,” “I mostly climb outside,” and “The grading here seems a little soft” mean and how to best insert them into as many conversations as possible to make people think you know how to climb. Lastly, we’ll have our experienced gym staff outfit you with intermediate climbing shoes, a scratched Grigri, a sweat-stained harness and a dirty chalk bag from the lost and found so you can stop wearing our rental shoe and harness package.
Perfecting your auto belay head
Jumping down from the top of an auto belay can be scary for even the most experienced climbers. Shake your fear of never being able to say “take,” and up your auto belay mental game with this new class for climbers of all skill levels. Learn to let go with your hands first, instead of fearfully clinging to the holds with your feet dangling in the air and cheese-grating down the wall. Then, up your game by learning to fall mid-route while projecting instead of jumping off when the holds get slopy and/or small. Stay tuned for next month’s advanced auto belay projecting techniques course, where we’ll teach you how to climb up easier routes nearby to work the crux of your auto belay project fresh, or clip in to a draw to rest before attempting the crux sequence.
Bouldering for sport climbers:
Do you find yourself resting your way up boulders, shaking out every two holds on 10-foot problems? Do you frequently drop off indoor problems because moves feel hard, and you immediately assume that you’re “not doing it right?” Do you find it difficult to try hard, or have no idea what “trying hard” really means? Are you afraid of jumping and other dynamic movements? If you answered yes to one to four of the above questions, this is the class for you. Forget endurance, power endurance and finding clipping jugs. Instead, learn to dig deep, move big and try hard with this special class for transiting from trying a little for a long time to trying a lot for one to five moves.
How to Instagram Your Climbing Life:
Awe your followers and grow your social media presence with these simple tips for capturing your climbing life through photos and Instagram stories. Learn how to take climbing selfies, how often to post, what #climbing hashtags to use and what makes a good gym session story with this intensive 12-hour social media class. Make sure to pack several changes of attractive climbing clothes, as our gym photographer will be taking hundreds of photos for you to post for weeks to come, using the hashtag #sentitforthegram and tagging our gym.
Coming Almost as Soon:
How to Train Your Crag Dog
How to Finance Your 2018 Sprinter Van
How to Turn Your Climber Guy Crush from Dirtbag to Date-worthy
How to Talk “Climber”
How to Avoid Our Gym’s Youth Climbing Teams
One Comment Add yours
Haha, great post.
How can I register for How to Instagram Your Climbing Life?